SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE


Kurt Vonnegut



This book is about a schizophrenic POW during WW II in Germany who time-travels in his mind from his past to the future to the present, as well as to an alien planet where he is put on display in a kind of zoo, and is mated with a porn star also “kidnapped” from Earth. He suffers multiple nervous breakdowns throughout the book, all triggered by various violent memories. The aliens teach him about the 4th dimension and that people are only dead at a particular time, and they are alive and well at a different time and place.

Vocabulary includes motherfucker, fucked, fucking, fuck, fucking, God-damned, Jesus, Jesus Christ, cocksucker, shit, piss, balls, pecker, whore, bastard, son of a bitch, hard-on, hell, damn.


Parents may want to be aware of the following language and subject matter:

• Get out of the road, you dumb motherfucker.
• ...neat tortures he himself had invented. One of the inventions was sticking a dentist’s drill into a guy’s ear.
• You stake a guy out on an anthill in the desert, see? He’s facing upward, and you put honey all over his balls and pecker, and you cut off his eyelids so he has to stare at the sun till he dies.
• ...picture of a woman attempting sexual intercourse with a Shetland pony. (A man says): What a lucky pony, eh?
• Jesus really was a nobody, and a pain in the neck.
• Fuck my luck.
• ...he was being unfaithful to his wife...persuaded a woman…into the laundry room…then sit up on the gas dryer…she helped Billy get her girdle off...It’s all right, said Billy. He honestly thought it was all right.
• ...gives many war enthusiasts a sort of post-coital satisfaction…the divinely listless loveplay that follows the orgasm of victory.
• Billy was on top of Valencia, making love to her. One result of this act would be the birth of Robert Pilgrim, who would become a problem in high school, but who would then straighten out as a member of the famous Green Berets...Billy made a noise like a small, rusty hinge. He had just empied his seminal vesicles into Valencia, had contributed his share of the Green Beret.
• ...took his pecker out...You sure had a hard-on.
• Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who’ll get one.
• He was drenched in sweat, remembered groggily that his daughter had put him to bed…Billy sniffed. His hot bed smelled like a mushroom cellar. He had had a wet dream….
• Why don’t you go fuck yourself? Don’t think I haven’t tried, the Blue Fairy Godmother answered.
• You should have seen what I did to a dog one time. Son of a bitch bit me. So I got me some steak, and I got me the spring out of a clock. I cut that spring up in little pieces. I put points on the ends of the pieces. They were sharp as razor blades. I stuck ‘em into the steak—way inside...I threw him the steak...I waited around for ten minutes. (Now Lazzaro’s eyes twinkled). Blood started coming out of his mouth. He started crying, and rolled on the ground, as though the knives were on the outside of him instead of on the inside of him. Then he tried to bite out his own insides. I laughed...
• ...pull out a gun and shoot his pecker off...let himm think a couple of seconds about…what life’s gonna be like without a pecker. Then he’ll shoot him once in the guts and walk away.
• ...women he was going to make fuck him, whether they wanted to or not.
• In my prison cell I sit, With my britches full of shit, And my balls are bouncing gently on the floor. And I see the bloody snag, When she bit me in the bag. Oh, I’ll never fuck a Polack any more.
• She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies. Men looked at her and wanted to fill her up with babies right away.
• The rear end of the Cadillac was a body-and-fender man’s wet dream.
• In the window were hundreds of books about fucking and buggery and murder…peep shows in the back...(pictures of naked girls) looking stupid, with their legs wide open. Some of them were eating lollipops or bananas. They would still be eating those (in the picture). And the peckers of the young men would still be semierect...
• ...making money running a paper-and-celluloid whorehouse. They didn’t have hard-ons...Everybody else did.
• A rack of books about oral-genital contacts from ancient Egypt...magazines for lonesome men to jerk off to...